Diary of an Entertainment Weekly Editor

Friday, May 2, 2008 in Humor, The Biz
Tags: American Idol, daily 10, E!, elisabeth shue, entertainment weekly, ew.com, Humor, I hate lists, I love lists, lists, pop culture, satire, Speed Racer, top 10, top 20, top 5, top 50, top 8

Dear Diary,

Oh boy, I did lots today. Today was so super. Here is a list of the top eight things I did today:

1. I saw a trailer for Speed Racer today. It was a really cool trailer. I think I want to make a list of the Top 12 trailers of movies based on old cartoons. This would be different from the list I proposed of the top 12 movies based on old cartoons because it would just be about the trailers

2. I had an awesome breakfast. The top five things in my breakfast today, in no particular order, were scrambled eggs, whole wheat toast, crispy bacon, Valencia orange juice, and strawberry jam. I don’t know if it ranks in my top 15 breakfasts of all time, but it certainly ranks in my top nine homemade breakfasts of all time

3. I got in a heated debate about American Idol today with one of my coworkers. She said that David Archuleta was the greatest Idol contestant whose last name ended in a vowel and I said he wouldn’t even crack the top four, what with Fantasia Barrino, Justin Guarini, Bo Bice, and Kimberly Locke. She said nuh-uh, Locke doesn’t end with a vowel and I said yeah-huh. And she was totally better. Remember that song “8th World Wonder.” That has numbers and words. I like numbers and words. It’s almost like a list but not quite

4. I thought of several lists today. The top three lists I thought of were Top 25 Movies featuring veterinarians, Top 15 actors who appeared in Burger King commercials (Elisabeth Shue, I’m thinking you’re up there!), and Top 50 uses of synthesizers in 80s songs. Those are awesome lists.

5. I got home early so I was able to catch up on the TiVo for my favorite show: E’s “The Daily 10.” That show is so cool. It puts entertainment news in list form, which makes it more important to me. They should really do the news news, like the Darfur stuff, you know, in list form. It would make it so much easier to follow.

6. I did a list with Roman numerals instead of numbers, and that was kind of neat. Numbers are better for lists, but Roman numerals are good for a change of pace or if you meet a Roman and you want to speak his language. Letters are OK too, but you’re going have so many letters in the actual list, you should just use numbers. I think it goes, in order, numbers, Roman numerals, letters, and then wingdings. Wingdings are the worst because they’re weird.

7. Someone posted a comment that it was so much better years ago when Entertainment Weekly put out an important list once or twice a year, but I totally nailed that guy. I gave him 20 reasons why daily lists are better than biannual lists and I ordered them from least awesome to most awesome which is the best way to structure a list. It was definitely in the top 75 responses to a reader complaint about our lists of all time. So eat that, hotpants17!

8. I bought an orangutan.

So that was my day. Out of all the days in the week it was definitely in the top 7 Write to you tomorrow!

– Tom Repetto (non-EW editor)