On Tuesday, Barack Obama strongly condemned his former pastor Jeremiah Wright, in light of Wright’s comments including allegations that the CIA gave AIDS to African Americans. Still no word from Wright as to who the CIA slept with to get AIDS in the first place.
Comedian and Minnesota Senate candidate Al Franken said Tuesday he will pay about $70,000 in back income taxes he owes to 17 states dating back to 2003. Franken owes the money because all 17 states have a 35% “Smugness Tax.”
Members of Truckers and Citizens United staged a rally in Washington, D.C. Monday protesting high gas prices. Unfortunately, the truckers ran out of gas and couldn’t afford their trip back home.
Computers went on sale to the general public for the first time ever in Cuba on Friday. The change means that when Cuban citizens want to flee to America, I can now book their leaky rafts on Travelocity.com.
Basque nightclub, a popular Hollywood hotspot where Lindsay Lohan held her birthday party, burned down early Wednesday morning. Making matters worse, at the time of the fire, Lindsay Lohan was not inside.
Miley Cyrus says that she is embarrassed about a revealing photo spread she did for Vanity Fair magazine. The most embarrassing thing for Miley? Being in pictures with Billy Ray Cyrus.
Vivid Entertainment has announced they will be releasing an 11-minute sex tape starring Jimi Hendrix that was filmed over 40 years ago. The tape features one minute of sex, interrupted by a ten minute guitar solo.
Jessica Walter, who played the grandmother on “Arrested Development,” has signed on for a role on the CW’s updated version of “Beverly Hills 90210.” Walter will play a high school sophomore.
According to a new poll, the summer movie that people are most excited about is the film version of “Sex and the City.” The poll was conducted exclusively among people living in the year 2000.
“Lord of the Rings” star Sir Ian McKellen will be reprising his role as Gandalf in the upcoming film version of “The Hobbit.” In addition, fans of the “Lord of the Rings” will be reprising their roles as virgin audience members.
Due to the dwindling number of salmon this year, fishing has been banned along the West Coast for the first time in 160 years. And in just three days, police have already arrested thousands of bears.
An Ohio woman claims to see an image of Jesus in the ultrasound of her unborn fetus. The woman considered having an abortion, but feared she would become pregnant again 3 days later.
Hundreds of people have evacuated Maine this week due to record floods. Hundreds more also evacuated the state, when they realized they live in Maine.
A governor in northern Saudi Arabia has ordered authorities to punish men who flirt with women in public places by cutting their hair. On the flip side, men who don’t flirt with women will be executed under suspicion of homosexuality.
A dolphin at Sea World died Monday after colliding with another dolphin while performing aerial tricks. The good news: Sea World restaurants now offer 2-for-1 specials on their Filet o’ Fish sandwiches.
Former baseball star Darryl Strawberry is writing his autobiography. The book will be titled, “Hey, Remember When Baseball Players Did Drugs That Weren’t Steroids?”
And finally, Albert Hoffman, the scientist who created LSD, died Tuesday at the age of 102. Hoffman is survived by his grandchildren, his great-grandchildren, and the giant spiders that were eating his face.
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