On Friday Barack Obama picked up the support of nine more superdelegates, erasing Hillary Clinton’s lead in endorsements. Clinton lost her lead mainly because of her habit of waking up superdelegates by calling them at 3 AM.
Hillary Clinton reportedly lent her campaign $6.4 million over the past month. Clinton then took an additional $8 million and flushed it directly down the toilet.
Barack Obama said Thursday that John McCain was “losing his bearings” when he suggested the terrorist group Hamas preferred Obama for president. In response, McCain accused Obama of ageism in a strong statement issued to a row of hedges.
On Thursday Myanmar’s military regime finally permitted the first major international aid shipment for victims of the cyclone disaster to enter the country. Unfortunately, the shipments were on American Airlines and ended up in Pittsburgh.
Horse racing fans continue to mourn the death of Kentucky Derby runnerup Eight Belles, who was put down after breaking both front ankles during the race. Racing fans are still upset about the tragedy, especially those who had put a thousand bucks down that she’d only break one ankle.
Seventy-five students were arrested Tuesday as part of a drug bust at San Diego State University. Police began to suspect the students of possessing drugs when they found out they were in college.
In his newly published memoirs, former JFK aide Ted Sorensen has admitted that he wrote a large part of the late president’s Pulitzer-Prize winning book, “Profiles in Courage.” Added Ted Kennedy: “Sorenson was always a big help to the Kennedys. For example – he was the one driving that day in Chappaquiddick. Yeah! And he also raped that waitress in Palm Beach. And whatever you may have heard – he’s the one who doesn’t weah pants!”
Tom Hanks is auctioning off the chance to act in a performance of “The Taming of the Shrew” to benefit Shakespeare Festival/LA. Meanwhile, Peter Scolari is auctioning off a dress from “Bosom Buddies” so he can pay his rent.
“Family Guy” creator Seth McFarlane has signed a new deal with Fox worth over one hundred million dollars. McFarlane remarked that the new deal reminded of the time Ralph Malph came over in a pirate costume juggling tuna sandwiches while I was playing Frogger, and then asked for a million dollars.
Organizers of the annual Jammy Awards, which celebrates the music of jam bands, have announced that last Wednesday’s ceremony would be the last. However, the ceremony will not be over for another five or six months.
Country music singer Gretchen Wilson, who dropped out of school in ninth grade, earned her GED last week. As a result, Wilson is now the most highly educated person in country music history.
A woman in New Hampshire faces second degree murder charges after she ran down a Red Sox fan who was taunting her by chanting “Yankees suck!” The prosecutor assigned to the case plans to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the woman is guilty, because the Yankees do, in fact, suck.
A seven year old bald eagle will have an artificial beak attached to replace one that had been shot off. Since the eagle doesn’t have health insurance, the full cost of the procedure will be put on her bill.
A new study shows that consumers in Britain throw out over a third of the food they buy. Experts believe this is mostly because they are buying British food.
In Iowa, a blind 78 year old man bowled a perfect 300 game this past week. At least, that’s what everyone told him.
A Catholic priest who had sex with two inmates while working at a women’s prison was sentenced last week to two years in federal prison. In his defense, the priest claims he only had sex with the women because there were no children available.
A new study shows that children who were breastfed for at least three months had better intelligence scores later in life than those who received formula. That is, unless the children received the quadratic formula.
And finally, Irvine Robbins, co-founder of the Baskin-Robbins ice cream chain, died Monday at the age of 90. The coroner’s report reveals that the cause of death was brain freeze.
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