Clay Aiken will become a father after serving as a sperm donor for a fifty-year-old record producer. Aiken donated the sperm by having his stomach pumped.

George Clooney has ended his year-long relationship with girlfriend Sarah Larson. Clooney broke up with Larson after finding out a woman existed who he hasn’t had sex with yet.

Kirsten Dunst told E! Online that she went to rehab in February not for drug or alcohol abuse but for depression. According to Dunst, she gets depressed when it’s last call and she’s out of cocaine.

Earle Hagen, the Emmy-Award-winning composer of theme songs for TV classics such as “The Andy Griffith Show” and “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” died Monday night at age 88. Hagen died when he drowned in a fishin’ hole after tripping over an ottoman.

Officials in Las Lomas, California have warned residents to refrain from drinking tap water after tests showed the water contained high levels of mercury. On the bright side, every citizen of Las Lomas can now tell you the exact temperature.

A young girl in West Virginia was stung by a scorpion while shopping in a Wal-Mart store. The incident angered anti-Wal-Mart protestors, who blasted the company for taking jobs away from mom-and-pop scorpions.

This week the Mars Phoenix Lander sent pictures of the Martian surface back home to earth. In the pictures, Mars is seen exiting a limo without wearing underwear.

Scientists in Florida have identified several potent mosquito repellents that can keep bugs from biting for up to 73 days. However, on day 74, the mosquitoes kill you.

A new study finds that children who are exposed to lead-based toys are more likely to be arrested later in life. Especially when the toys are bullets.

And finally, Harvey Korman, the Emmy-Award-winning star of “The Carol Burnett Show,” died Thursday at the age of eighty-one. Mourners at the funeral were stunned when Korman’s corpse began cracking up at the eulogy delivered by Tim Conway.


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