The Topic Thunder Report for the Week Ending Sunday, April 19, 2009

Monday, April 20, 2009 in Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: 2008 Election, Achilles tendon repair, Allen DeWall, American Pie, Ashton Kutcher, Ashton Kutcher Twitter, Ashton Kutcher versus CNN, Barack Obama, basketball, Behind the Green Door, Bo Obama, Boston Celtics, Britney Spears, Burger King, Burger King Mexican flag ad, camel toe, Cannes, Cannes Film Festival, cloned camel, cloning, CNN, Cosby Show, Detroit Lions, EB Brands, Ed Asner, eight year old bride, ESPN2, fitness ball recall, fitness balls, General Growth Properties Inc., Harry Kalas, Hillary Clinton, Insatiable, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Kevin Garnett, malls, Marilyn Chambers, Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson divorce, Mexican flag, Mexico, NBA, NFL Films, Oxygen, Oxygen Network, piracy, Pixar, Polish homeless shelter fire, Portugeuse Water Dog, race horses, real estate, Robin Gibson, Rudy Huxtable, Sarah Palin, Saudi Arabia, school lunches, Shannon DeWall, Smirnoff, stem cells, table, Tara Reid, Topic Thunder, Tropic Thunder, Twitter, UC Davis, UC Davis bomb threat, University of California at Davis, Up, White House dog

On Tuesday President Obama unveiled a Portuguese Water Dog named Bo as the new White House family pet. On Wednesday, it was revealed that Bo owed $20,000 in back taxes.
Due to recent pirate activity Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced new diplomatic efforts to freeze pirates’ assets. The efforts entail erasing the [...]

Watch Big News Episode 287: “Mayor, Moose-Hunter, Mother”

Saturday, November 29, 2008 in Big News Episodes
Tags: 100000 Pyramid, 2008 Election, AIG, Al Gore, Andy Sklar, Artemis Pebdani, Aydrea ten Bosch, bank failure, Bert, Big Bird, Blackberry Britney Spears, Carly Fiorina, Cindy McCain, Cookie Monster, credit crisis, David Petraeus, Dick Clark, economic crisis, Elmo, Ernie, Federal Reserve, Florida State, General Petraeus, George Caleodis, Grover, Iraq, J.B. West, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jason Kelley, Jim Nieb, John McCain, Jonas Brothers, Julia Gaudette, Kipleigh Brown, Kyle Kinane, Lehman Brothers, Matt Johnson, Matt Moore, Melissa Okey, Michael Hughes, Muppets, Neil Garguilo, Oscar the Grouch, Phil Gramm, Phillip Wilburn, Pyramid, Ron West, Sarah Palin, Sean Cowhig, Sesame Street, sorority, surge, Tammie Smalls, the Count, Todd Palin, Tom Repetto, virginity, WaMu, Washington Mutual, Zach Ayers

Sesame Street? The Jonas Brothers? But don’t mistake this show for anything on the Disney Channel – just a hilarious look at another week of the election, and the comedy of Kyle Kinane!

In this episode:
- John McCain gets roughed up by the Muppets!
- The Lehman Brothers get a good talking-to by their parents!
- [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, November 9, 2008

Monday, November 10, 2008 in Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: 2008 Election, Ari Emanuel, Ari Gold, Bacteria, Barack Obama, Bugs Bunny, celebrities, Chicago, Chicago Cubs, Circuit City, cloned mice, cloning, Dancing with the Stars, Daryl Hall, Detroit Lions, Entourage, ER, Fall Out Boy, Family Ties, George W. Bush, germs, Grant Park, Hall and Oates, HBO, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, John Oates, Jurassic Park, Madonna, marijuana, Martha Washington, mice, Michael Crichton, Michael J. Fox, Michigan, mushrooms, Nancy Reagan, Obama Victory Rally, obituaries, Parkinson's Disease, Pete Wentz, Rahm Emanuel, Rescue Me, Ronald Reagan, Sarah Palin, seances, Stradivarius, Susan Lucci, Tasmanian Devils, testosterone, Tina Yothers, violins

On Tuesday, voters elected Barack Obama the forty-fourth president of the United States.  Obama’s first order of business: getting a new catchphrase.
Thousands of Obama supporters gathered in Chicago’s Grant Park to celebrate his victory Tuesday night.  The celebration confused Chicago Cubs fans in the crowd, because they had no idea what it feels like to [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, October 19, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008 in Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: Southern California fires, Hillary Clinton, Dick Cheney, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, debates, Grinch, Toyota, John McCain, internet, Ringo Starr, 2008 Election, Saturday Night Live, Batman, Mel Gibson, Madonna, Guy Ritchie, Nancy Reagan, SNL, presidential debates, Joe the Plumber, Whoville, video games, Levi Stubbs, Four Tops, Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch, I Can't Help Myself, Lethal Weapon, Gale Harold, Teri Hatcher, Desperate Housewives, Mark Wahlberg, Entourage, Maureen McCormick, Marcia Brady, Brady Bunch, Ann B. Davis, Alice, Alice Nelson, Stevie Wonder, California wildfires, Jon Bon Jovi, General Motors, Mesa State, Trevor Wikre, Vitali Klitschko, Dallas Cowboys, Pacman Jones, Pacman, Neal Hefti, Odd Couple

John McCain said Thursday that the real winner of this week’s presidential debate was Joe the Plumber. New polls confirmed this opinion by projecting that Joe the Plumber will get fifty-three more electoral votes than McCain.
Joe Biden said Monday that John McCain might regret attacking Barack Obama on issues like race and terrorism for [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, May 18, 2008

Monday, May 19, 2008 in Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: 2008 Election, Amy Winehouse, Angelina Jolie, Barack Obama, Bob Barr, Brad Pitt, breast cancers, breasts, Britney Spears, California Supreme Court, Catholic, CBS, Dmitry Medvedev, dominatrix, Edward Kennedy, Frank Sinatra, gay marriage, Girl Scout cookies, Girl Scouts, gun rights, Hannah Montana, Hillary Clinton, How I Met Your Mother, Japan, Jerry Lewis, Jerry's Kids, JFK, John F. Kennedy, John McCain, Kentucky, Libertarian, MDA, Mel Gibson, Michael Moore, Missouri, Muscular Dystrophy, Neil Diamond, oil, oil prices, Pope Benedict, public relations, Roman Catholic Church, Russia, same sex marriage, Second Amendment, Ted Kennedy, The Doors, Today Show, Trasylol, twelve-year-old dominatrix, video grams, Vladimir Putin, Warren Cowan, West Virginia

Senator Ted Kennedy was rushed to the hospital Saturday morning after suffering a seizure. Doctors realized Kennedy would be fine after he asked that his IV be served on the rocks.
On Monday, Hillary Clinton compared her campaign to John F. Kennedy’s 1960 campaign in West Virginia. Experts corrected the Senator, noting that [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, May 11, 2008

Monday, May 12, 2008 in Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: 2008 Election, American Airlines, bald eagle, Barack Obama, Baskin Robbins, blindness, Bosom Buddies, Boston Red Sox, Bowling, brain freeze, breastfeeding, Britain, British food, Catholic, Chappaquiddick, cyclone, Eight Belles, Family Guy, Fox, Frogger, GED, Gretchen Wilson, Hillary Clinton, horse racing, ice cream, Irvine Robbins, Jammy Awards, JFK, John F. Kennedy, John McCain, Kennedys, Kentucky Derby, Myanmar, new hampshire, New York Yankees, Palm Beach, Peter Scolari, Pittsburgh, Profiles in Courage, quadratic formula, Ralph Malph, Red Sox, San Diego State University, SDSU, Seth McFarlane, Shakespeare Festival/LA, superdelegates, Taming of the Shrew, Ted Kennedy, Ted Sorensen, tom hanks, Yankees

On Friday Barack Obama picked up the support of nine more superdelegates, erasing Hillary Clinton’s lead in endorsements. Clinton lost her lead mainly because of her habit of waking up superdelegates by calling them at 3 AM.
Hillary Clinton reportedly lent her campaign $6.4 million over the past month. Clinton then took an additional [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, April 20, 2008 – Bonus Jokes!

Saturday, April 19, 2008 in Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: "George Bush", 2008 Election, ABC, Acme World Oyster Eating Contest, Ashton Kutcher, Barack Obama, bird flu, black hole, Black Panthers, Blade, blue crabs, Bobby Clampett, botox, breast cancer, Britney Spears, Bruce Springsteen, butterfly effect, California, CBS, CHAOS, chaos theory, Chesapeake Bay, Chicago, Cindy McCain, Cleveland Zoo, CNN, CONTROL, cougars, debate, divorce, Donald Rumsfeld, earthquakes, Edward Lorenz, Electronic Arts, Emeril, Esquire, Food Network, France, Get Smart, golf, Grand Theft Auto 4, herpes, Hillary Clinton, Houston Astros, Hum, Iraq, Jessica Seinfeld, John F. Kennedy, John McCain, John Wheeler, Katie Couric, Les Moonves, Liang Wen-Chong, Lindsay Lohan, marijuana, Marilyn Monroe, Martha Stewart, Maryland, Masters, Maxwell Smart, Miguel Tejada, MILFs, Minnesota, New Orleans, Norbit, ohio, Orson Welles, out-of-wedlock births, oysters, papal visit, Paw Paw, Pinks Hot Dogs, Pope Benedict, pork plants, Posh Spice, press shield law, Red Bull, Richard Quest, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., San Andreas fault, SARS, sex tape, sexually transmitted diseases, STDs, surgery, The Sims, turtles, Twisted Sister, US Airways, Victoria Beckham, Vietnam, Virginia, Wesley Snipes, Wilmer Valderrama, Yemen, Zapruder

Just like the extra icing left over in a cake box after the cake has been served, here’s a delicious helping of jokes we just couldn’t fit into this week’s Big News show! If what we’re serving up here is this tasty – why not stop by iO West Sunday night at 10 to [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, April 13, 2008

Monday, April 14, 2008 in Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: "The Supreme Court of Comedy", 'N Sync, 2008 Election, 90210, Abu Ubaida al Masri, al-Qaeda, Archaeology, Australia, Barry Bonds, Beverly Hills 90210, Blame It on the Rain, Capitol Building, Colombia, Columbia Record Club, eBay, Estella Aaron, free trade, Hank Aaron, Hepatitis C, Hillary Clinton, Ice Ice Baby, India, Indiana, Iraq, Joey Fatone, John Leguizamo, John McCain, Laugh Factory, London, Luciano Pavarotti, Luke Perry, Melanie Brown, Milli Vanilli, Nancy Pelosi, Pamela Anderson, Paul Hogan, Rebecca Gayheart, Rosie Perez, Scary Spice, Sinbad, social security, Spice Girls, Stanley Kamel, steroids, TLC, Toni Braxton, two faced baby, Unbreak My Heart, unemployment, Vanilla Ice

In defiance of the Bush Administration, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Wednesday that Congress will not vote this year on a free-trade agreement with Colombia. In response, Colombia changed their offer to include any 12 CDs or cassettes for only a penny.
John McCain will reportedly become the first presidential candidate to accept public financing in [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, April 6, 2008 – Bonus Jokes!!

Saturday, April 5, 2008 in Announcements, Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Press, Quick Takes, The Biz, Writers
Tags: "George Bush", 2008 Election, A Mind At a Time, AFTRA, Ann Mahlum, Anthony Pellicano, Anthrax, April Fool's Day, Back on My Feet Again, bee movie, Beyonce, Big Mac, Bill Clinton, Blackwater, Britney Spears, Bucket List, CBS News, Charlton Heston, child abuse, Chris Rock, crime, Cuba, Dallas Mavericks, David Blaine, David Letterman, defibrillator, Episcopal High School, flight school, Florida, Fox, Georgia, HBO, Heather Mills, Heathrow Airport, Hillary Clinton, homeless, International Space Station, Iraq, Jamie Lynn Spears, Japan, Jason Alexander, Jay-Z, Jerry Seinfeld, John McCain, Kathie Lee Gifford, Larry King, Late Show, Lindsay Lohan, Live Nation, Long Beach, MacGyver, Mark Cuban, Melvin Levine, Merle Haggard, Mexico, Miley Cyrus, Miss USA, myspace, Naomi Campbell, Naval Academy, NBC, New Jersey, New York Times, ohio, Okie from Muskogee, Osama bin Laden, Philadelphia, picnic table, Planet of the Apes, polls, Project Runway, Ralph Nader, Raul Castro, recession, recycling, running, running clubs, SAG, Screen Actors Guild, Secret Service, seinfeld, sex, sex therapists, slip-n-slide, sniper fire, soap operas, State Department, Steve Allen, strippers, Today, Tonight Show, Touch of Evil, unemployment, unions, wiretapping, wrestling, Writers

Maybe it was April Fools, but our writers were so inspired this week that they wrote more jokes than we could possibly fit into the show. But thanks to the Internet, we still have an outlet to share these with the world at large – thanks, Internet!!! Wondering what did make the show? [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, March 30, 2008 – Bonus Jokes!

Saturday, March 29, 2008 in Announcements, Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz, Writers
Tags: "George Bush", 10000 B.C., 2008 Election, 2008 Olympics, abortion, abstinence, Adobe, Afghanistan, Alex Rodriguez, Alzheimer's, American Airlines, Barack Obama, Barry Bonds, Bedrock, Beijing Olympics, Bible, birth control, Bosnia, Brian Sliter, Britney Spears, Charlie Sheen, China, Christianity, CNN, Cocaine, Confederacy, Cops, Daniel Radcliffe, David Paterson, Dax Shepard, dementia, Denise Richards, Denny's, dentures, Dick Cheney, Diet Fresca, Direct TV, Dr. Pepper, Easter Island, Egg McMuffin, Ellen DeGeneres, Fight Club, First Continental Congress, Flintstones, Florida, food stamps, George Michael, Glenn Beck, Godzilla, Greece, Guns 'n' Roses, harry potter, Hawaii, Headline News, Herb Peterson, herpes, HGH, Hillary Clinton, Hootie & the Blowfish, Houston Rockets, Iraq, Jamie Lynn Spears, Joey Buttafuoco, John McCain, Jon Heder, Jose Canseco, kidneys, Kilauea, Kirsten Bell, Kleenex, Kwame Kilpatrick, LAPD, Larry Craig, Libertarians, LIRR, LOLcatz, Long Island, Los Angeles, McDonald's, Mexico, Mike Gravel, Mike Tyson, mile high club, Milwaukee's Best Light, Missouri, Mitt Romney, Mrs. Doubtfire, Murder She Wrote, Nancy Reagan, Naperville, Napoleon Dynamite, New York, nipple rings, Not Just Another Cable News Show, nuclear warheads, obesity, ohio, Olympic torch, Olympics, Pamela Anderson, Pentagon, Photoshop, Polygrip, Pomeranian, prison, Remus, Rick Salomon, Robin Williams, Rome, Romulus, Romulus and Remus, Ronald Reagan, Rosie O'Donnell, San Francisco Giants, Scarlett Johannsen, sex education, sexually transmitted diseases, Sizzler, slavery, Starbucks, STDs, Supreme Court, Tacoma, Taiwan, taser, Texas, theology, Tibet, train wreck, transplants, TSA, Ultimate Fighting, US Airways, Van Gogh, Viagra, Wal-Mart, When in Rome, White Castle, Yale, Yao Ming, Yes We Can

The Big News writing staff is hard at work crafting great comedy each week for your enjoyment. And thanks to Al Gore, there’s a place for those jokes that can’t fit into the show – the Internet! To see what did make it in, stop by iO West in Hollywood on Sunday nights [...]