The Topic Thunder Report for the Week Ending Sunday, April 19, 2009

Monday, April 20, 2009 in Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: Britney Spears, Saudi Arabia, Smirnoff, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, malls, stem cells, Mexico, Ashton Kutcher, CNN, 2008 Election, Mel Gibson, Oxygen, Oxygen Network, basketball, real estate, Tropic Thunder, Pixar, cloning, Boston Celtics, NBA, Burger King, Sarah Palin, Detroit Lions, piracy, Tara Reid, Twitter, Marilyn Chambers, Topic Thunder, Behind the Green Door, Insatiable, Achilles tendon repair, race horses, eight year old bride, Shannon DeWall, Allen DeWall, Kevin Garnett, EB Brands, fitness balls, fitness ball recall, school lunches, cloned camel, camel toe, UC Davis bomb threat, UC Davis, University of California at Davis, Ashton Kutcher versus CNN, Ashton Kutcher Twitter, American Pie, Ed Asner, Up, Cannes Film Festival, Cannes, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Cosby Show, table, Mel Gibson divorce, Robin Gibson, Harry Kalas, NFL Films, ESPN2, Polish homeless shelter fire, General Growth Properties Inc., Portugeuse Water Dog, Bo Obama, White House dog, Mexican flag, Rudy Huxtable, Burger King Mexican flag ad

On Tuesday President Obama unveiled a Portuguese Water Dog named Bo as the new White House family pet. On Wednesday, it was revealed that Bo owed $20,000 in back taxes.
Due to recent pirate activity Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced new diplomatic efforts to freeze pirates’ assets. The efforts entail erasing the [...]

Watch Big News Episode 287: “Mayor, Moose-Hunter, Mother”

Saturday, November 29, 2008 in Big News Episodes
Tags: 100000 Pyramid, 2008 Election, AIG, Al Gore, Andy Sklar, Artemis Pebdani, Aydrea ten Bosch, bank failure, Bert, Big Bird, Blackberry Britney Spears, Carly Fiorina, Cindy McCain, Cookie Monster, credit crisis, David Petraeus, Dick Clark, economic crisis, Elmo, Ernie, Federal Reserve, Florida State, General Petraeus, George Caleodis, Grover, Iraq, J.B. West, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jason Kelley, Jim Nieb, John McCain, Jonas Brothers, Julia Gaudette, Kipleigh Brown, Kyle Kinane, Lehman Brothers, Matt Johnson, Matt Moore, Melissa Okey, Michael Hughes, Muppets, Neil Garguilo, Oscar the Grouch, Phil Gramm, Phillip Wilburn, Pyramid, Ron West, Sarah Palin, Sean Cowhig, Sesame Street, sorority, surge, Tammie Smalls, the Count, Todd Palin, Tom Repetto, virginity, WaMu, Washington Mutual, Zach Ayers

Sesame Street? The Jonas Brothers? But don’t mistake this show for anything on the Disney Channel – just a hilarious look at another week of the election, and the comedy of Kyle Kinane!

In this episode:
- John McCain gets roughed up by the Muppets!
- The Lehman Brothers get a good talking-to by their parents!
- [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, November 9, 2008

Monday, November 10, 2008 in Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: 2008 Election, Ari Emanuel, Ari Gold, Bacteria, Barack Obama, Bugs Bunny, celebrities, Chicago, Chicago Cubs, Circuit City, cloned mice, cloning, Dancing with the Stars, Daryl Hall, Detroit Lions, Entourage, ER, Fall Out Boy, Family Ties, George W. Bush, germs, Grant Park, Hall and Oates, HBO, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, John Oates, Jurassic Park, Madonna, marijuana, Martha Washington, mice, Michael Crichton, Michael J. Fox, Michigan, mushrooms, Nancy Reagan, Obama Victory Rally, obituaries, Parkinson's Disease, Pete Wentz, Rahm Emanuel, Rescue Me, Ronald Reagan, Sarah Palin, seances, Stradivarius, Susan Lucci, Tasmanian Devils, testosterone, Tina Yothers, violins

On Tuesday, voters elected Barack Obama the forty-fourth president of the United States.  Obama’s first order of business: getting a new catchphrase.
Thousands of Obama supporters gathered in Chicago’s Grant Park to celebrate his victory Tuesday night.  The celebration confused Chicago Cubs fans in the crowd, because they had no idea what it feels like to [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, October 19, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008 in Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: Southern California fires, Hillary Clinton, Dick Cheney, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, debates, Grinch, Toyota, John McCain, internet, Ringo Starr, 2008 Election, Saturday Night Live, Batman, Mel Gibson, Madonna, Guy Ritchie, Nancy Reagan, SNL, presidential debates, Joe the Plumber, Whoville, video games, Levi Stubbs, Four Tops, Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch, I Can't Help Myself, Lethal Weapon, Gale Harold, Teri Hatcher, Desperate Housewives, Mark Wahlberg, Entourage, Maureen McCormick, Marcia Brady, Brady Bunch, Ann B. Davis, Alice, Alice Nelson, Stevie Wonder, California wildfires, Jon Bon Jovi, General Motors, Mesa State, Trevor Wikre, Vitali Klitschko, Dallas Cowboys, Pacman Jones, Pacman, Neal Hefti, Odd Couple

John McCain said Thursday that the real winner of this week’s presidential debate was Joe the Plumber. New polls confirmed this opinion by projecting that Joe the Plumber will get fifty-three more electoral votes than McCain.
Joe Biden said Monday that John McCain might regret attacking Barack Obama on issues like race and terrorism for [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, May 18, 2008

Monday, May 19, 2008 in Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: 2008 Election, Amy Winehouse, Angelina Jolie, Barack Obama, Bob Barr, Brad Pitt, breast cancers, breasts, Britney Spears, California Supreme Court, Catholic, CBS, Dmitry Medvedev, dominatrix, Edward Kennedy, Frank Sinatra, gay marriage, Girl Scout cookies, Girl Scouts, gun rights, Hannah Montana, Hillary Clinton, How I Met Your Mother, Japan, Jerry Lewis, Jerry's Kids, JFK, John F. Kennedy, John McCain, Kentucky, Libertarian, MDA, Mel Gibson, Michael Moore, Missouri, Muscular Dystrophy, Neil Diamond, oil, oil prices, Pope Benedict, public relations, Roman Catholic Church, Russia, same sex marriage, Second Amendment, Ted Kennedy, The Doors, Today Show, Trasylol, twelve-year-old dominatrix, video grams, Vladimir Putin, Warren Cowan, West Virginia

Senator Ted Kennedy was rushed to the hospital Saturday morning after suffering a seizure. Doctors realized Kennedy would be fine after he asked that his IV be served on the rocks.
On Monday, Hillary Clinton compared her campaign to John F. Kennedy’s 1960 campaign in West Virginia. Experts corrected the Senator, noting that [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, May 11, 2008

Monday, May 12, 2008 in Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: 2008 Election, American Airlines, bald eagle, Barack Obama, Baskin Robbins, blindness, Bosom Buddies, Boston Red Sox, Bowling, brain freeze, breastfeeding, Britain, British food, Catholic, Chappaquiddick, cyclone, Eight Belles, Family Guy, Fox, Frogger, GED, Gretchen Wilson, Hillary Clinton, horse racing, ice cream, Irvine Robbins, Jammy Awards, JFK, John F. Kennedy, John McCain, Kennedys, Kentucky Derby, Myanmar, new hampshire, New York Yankees, Palm Beach, Peter Scolari, Pittsburgh, Profiles in Courage, quadratic formula, Ralph Malph, Red Sox, San Diego State University, SDSU, Seth McFarlane, Shakespeare Festival/LA, superdelegates, Taming of the Shrew, Ted Kennedy, Ted Sorensen, tom hanks, Yankees

On Friday Barack Obama picked up the support of nine more superdelegates, erasing Hillary Clinton’s lead in endorsements. Clinton lost her lead mainly because of her habit of waking up superdelegates by calling them at 3 AM.
Hillary Clinton reportedly lent her campaign $6.4 million over the past month. Clinton then took an additional [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, April 20, 2008 – Bonus Jokes!

Saturday, April 19, 2008 in Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: "George Bush", 2008 Election, ABC, Acme World Oyster Eating Contest, Ashton Kutcher, Barack Obama, bird flu, black hole, Black Panthers, Blade, blue crabs, Bobby Clampett, botox, breast cancer, Britney Spears, Bruce Springsteen, butterfly effect, California, CBS, CHAOS, chaos theory, Chesapeake Bay, Chicago, Cindy McCain, Cleveland Zoo, CNN, CONTROL, cougars, debate, divorce, Donald Rumsfeld, earthquakes, Edward Lorenz, Electronic Arts, Emeril, Esquire, Food Network, France, Get Smart, golf, Grand Theft Auto 4, herpes, Hillary Clinton, Houston Astros, Hum, Iraq, Jessica Seinfeld, John F. Kennedy, John McCain, John Wheeler, Katie Couric, Les Moonves, Liang Wen-Chong, Lindsay Lohan, marijuana, Marilyn Monroe, Martha Stewart, Maryland, Masters, Maxwell Smart, Miguel Tejada, MILFs, Minnesota, New Orleans, Norbit, ohio, Orson Welles, out-of-wedlock births, oysters, papal visit, Paw Paw, Pinks Hot Dogs, Pope Benedict, pork plants, Posh Spice, press shield law, Red Bull, Richard Quest, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., San Andreas fault, SARS, sex tape, sexually transmitted diseases, STDs, surgery, The Sims, turtles, Twisted Sister, US Airways, Victoria Beckham, Vietnam, Virginia, Wesley Snipes, Wilmer Valderrama, Yemen, Zapruder

Just like the extra icing left over in a cake box after the cake has been served, here’s a delicious helping of jokes we just couldn’t fit into this week’s Big News show! If what we’re serving up here is this tasty – why not stop by iO West Sunday night at 10 to [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, April 13, 2008

Monday, April 14, 2008 in Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz
Tags: "The Supreme Court of Comedy", 'N Sync, 2008 Election, 90210, Abu Ubaida al Masri, al-Qaeda, Archaeology, Australia, Barry Bonds, Beverly Hills 90210, Blame It on the Rain, Capitol Building, Colombia, Columbia Record Club, eBay, Estella Aaron, free trade, Hank Aaron, Hepatitis C, Hillary Clinton, Ice Ice Baby, India, Indiana, Iraq, Joey Fatone, John Leguizamo, John McCain, Laugh Factory, London, Luciano Pavarotti, Luke Perry, Melanie Brown, Milli Vanilli, Nancy Pelosi, Pamela Anderson, Paul Hogan, Rebecca Gayheart, Rosie Perez, Scary Spice, Sinbad, social security, Spice Girls, Stanley Kamel, steroids, TLC, Toni Braxton, two faced baby, Unbreak My Heart, unemployment, Vanilla Ice

In defiance of the Bush Administration, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Wednesday that Congress will not vote this year on a free-trade agreement with Colombia. In response, Colombia changed their offer to include any 12 CDs or cassettes for only a penny.
John McCain will reportedly become the first presidential candidate to accept public financing in [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, April 6, 2008 – Bonus Jokes!!

Saturday, April 5, 2008 in Announcements, Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Press, Quick Takes, The Biz, Writers
Tags: Britney Spears, Blackwater, Iraq, Georgia, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Larry King, homeless, Tonight Show, Osama bin Laden, New Jersey, "George Bush", Jamie Lynn Spears, Merle Haggard, Japan, Lindsay Lohan, Jay-Z, Mexico, John McCain, myspace, bee movie, seinfeld, Florida, sex, ohio, David Letterman, Ralph Nader, Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, 2008 Election, Raul Castro, Cuba, Heather Mills, strippers, soap operas, Philadelphia, April Fool's Day, Naomi Campbell, Heathrow Airport, Ann Mahlum, running, running clubs, Back on My Feet Again, NBC, Kathie Lee Gifford, Today, recycling, Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, crime, Late Show, Steve Allen, polls, New York Times, CBS News, unemployment, recession, State Department, Anthony Pellicano, Chris Rock, wiretapping, Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, David Blaine, SAG, AFTRA, Screen Actors Guild, unions, Miss USA, Secret Service, sniper fire, defibrillator, child abuse, Melvin Levine, A Mind At a Time, International Space Station, Live Nation, Big Mac, Writers, MacGyver, Project Runway, Fox, wrestling, Long Beach, Anthrax, Episcopal High School, Naval Academy, flight school, Bucket List, sex therapists, HBO, picnic table, slip-n-slide, Okie from Muskogee, Charlton Heston, Planet of the Apes, Touch of Evil

Maybe it was April Fools, but our writers were so inspired this week that they wrote more jokes than we could possibly fit into the show. But thanks to the Internet, we still have an outlet to share these with the world at large – thanks, Internet!!! Wondering what did make the show? [...]

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, March 30, 2008 – Bonus Jokes!

Saturday, March 29, 2008 in Announcements, Big News Writers, Editorial, Highlights, Humor, News, News & Commentary, News In Brief, Quick Takes, The Biz, Writers
Tags: taser, Britney Spears, Iraq, Long Island, Alzheimer's, Hillary Clinton, Dick Cheney, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Ronald Reagan, Rosie O'Donnell, Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, "George Bush", Jamie Lynn Spears, Pamela Anderson, Rick Salomon, HGH, New York, TSA, Mexico, Larry Craig, John McCain, China, harry potter, Florida, ohio, Charlie Sheen, George Michael, Cocaine, Texas, Supreme Court, Kwame Kilpatrick, Denny's, McDonald's, Olympics, 2008 Olympics, Mike Gravel, Beijing Olympics, CNN, Los Angeles, abstinence, Starbucks, 2008 Election, Afghanistan, American Airlines, Tibet, Daniel Radcliffe, David Paterson, sexually transmitted diseases, STDs, Missouri, Nancy Reagan, Bedrock, Flintstones, Polygrip, dentures, Sizzler, Murder She Wrote, 10000 B.C., Direct TV, nipple rings, Kleenex, Dr. Pepper, Guns 'n' Roses, Hootie & the Blowfish, US Airways, First Continental Congress, Yes We Can, Jose Canseco, food stamps, Milwaukee's Best Light, Wal-Mart, transplants, kidneys, Tacoma, Kilauea, Hawaii, White Castle, LIRR, train wreck, Joey Buttafuoco, Diet Fresca, herpes, slavery, Confederacy, Pentagon, Godzilla, Taiwan, nuclear warheads, sex education, birth control, San Francisco Giants, Yale, Christianity, Bible, theology, Robin Williams, Mrs. Doubtfire, dementia, Adobe, Photoshop, Scarlett Johannsen, LOLcatz, Ultimate Fighting, Fight Club, Headline News, Not Just Another Cable News Show, Glenn Beck, mile high club, Herb Peterson, Egg McMuffin, Brian Sliter, Denise Richards, Libertarians, Viagra, obesity, Ellen DeGeneres, Naperville, Pomeranian, Napoleon Dynamite, Jon Heder, Kirsten Bell, Dax Shepard, When in Rome, Rome, Romulus, Remus, Romulus and Remus, LAPD, Cops, abortion, prison, Yao Ming, Olympic torch, Greece, Houston Rockets, Bosnia, Easter Island, Van Gogh, Mike Tyson

The Big News writing staff is hard at work crafting great comedy each week for your enjoyment. And thanks to Al Gore, there’s a place for those jokes that can’t fit into the show – the Internet! To see what did make it in, stop by iO West in Hollywood on Sunday nights [...]